


#31

by Schweet



Series: What Would I Even Tell Her [31]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Dreams, F/F, Poetry, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25719175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schweet/pseuds/Schweet
Series: What Would I Even Tell Her [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605673
Kudos: 1





	#31

Hello Elizabeth

I had a strange dream this morning

I was in the middle of an apartment doing my usual ghost detection and saving the world thing

When I realized

“Oh this is a dream”

- _ I think I was clued in by the fact that I’m nowhere near that powerful in real life _ -

And I decided to take the opportunity to create a future for my myself

To explore an option in the safety of my sleeping mind that I have been too afraid to plan in the waking world

So I constructed a cute little apartment and explored it while I waited for my wife to come home from work

Even now, those words make my shy heart tremble with a boldness that does not fit it yet

- _my wife_ -

I was excited to see who she would be, I couldn’t help but think, maybe this dream will show me who I will marry

With fingers crossed I walked through the wide and empty entry way to peek over the dividing wall into the kitchen

The kitchen was sunk into the floor, like those old 60’s living rooms

There were medieval torches hung along the wall behind the stove

The kitchen counter was an aquarium, not something I would have sought out initially, but I did appreciate it

“My wife must have an eclectic taste”

No wonder we’re married, I thought

The TV room was just across from the entrance to the apartment

It was painted a soft coral with a TV that took up the entire back wall, perfect for our annual Friday movie nights

The sunshine streamed in through a window that stretched from floor to 12 foot tall ceiling

A couch was tucked into the corner between window and wall, blankets thrown haphazardly across the cushions

I checked every room except the office, because by then I could hear my wife in the bedroom

- _my wife_ -

I could feel the excitement bubble in my stomach

She must have slipped in while I was in the neighbouring room, examining the art decorating the walls

She was chatting with someone on the phone I think

She was playing Stephen Colbert on the television

Who would she be?

Would I remember her face when I finally meet her for the first time?

I relinquished control of the dream

And walked into the bedroom as if in a trance, gently pushing open the wooden door and I saw her

- _my wife_ -

She was perched upon the bed

Waving her hands as she continued her conversation

With her boss maybe?

I couldn't make out her words

I stood in the doorway, watching her with a heart that was filling with a lightness fed by her bright words

Her brown hair cascaded down her shoulders and pooled against the covers

And her lithe body buzzed with an energy that made me glad to be alive

I already loved her

- _my wife_ -

And couldn't wait to meet her

- _my_ wife-

She hung up the phone, flipping through a magazine

I knocked on the wood of the dresser, praying this wouldn’t fade away just yet

I needed to see her face

But she didn't hear me

I walked closer, the bed got taller

I’m not sure how I got on top

Maybe I levitated?

I was too focused on trying to see her face

Because from the moment I opened the door, I could not see her face

It was hidden behind a glowing haze, behind a dancing sheet of muslin that draped from swinging bangs to exposed collarbone

Like a memory I couldn’t access but was so beautiful I could not see the gap it used to fill in anything but sunshine

I crawled across the bed, the distance grew as I tried to reach her

Finally she looked up at me

And it was you

I continued to crawl across the white bedspread, sinking in it up to my elbows

You greeted me in loving excitement

You told me all about your day and your conversation on the phone

But I didn’t hear a word you said, I was too focused on reaching you before I lost the dream

You watched me as I slowly closed the distance, I don't remember if you reached out a hand for me

But you continued talking animatedly as you if telling me your stories were your favourite part of your day

The way listening to your stories are mine

I finally reached you as you leaned back into the covers, reaching out for me with your left hand

I intertwined my fingers with yours and supported your back as you looked up at me with such a bright smile on your face

You finished talking

I still hadn’t heard a word you said

I pressed my forehead to yours and whispered

“I will follow you anywhere”

Your brown eyes looking into mine were the last thing I saw as everything faded to gray

And I opened my eyes to the afternoon sun streaming through my blinds with a heart that didn't know what to feel

It seems my subconscious still hasn’t let you go

I have never dreamed of you before, let alone in a domestic bliss such as this

Why can’t my heart let you go?

I swear I understand nothing will ever come of this silly hope of mine

I know who you love

And it is not me

I know I will one day stand beside the altar as your father brings you down the aisle

But I know it will not be me he is bringing you to

No matter how desperately I may want to be the one who turns to see you in white as your niece throws pink petals at the ground of your church

I know I will stand beside you as you walk to the man of your dreams

I know it will not me your smile is directed at

I know I will hold your bouquet as you turn your back on me to face another

I just pray that when I cry as you proclaim your vows, it will be in happiness for you and the person your heart has chosen and the promise of your future with them

And not in sadness for me and a dream that can never be

- _my wife_ -


End file.
